HardKoreDad

Yeah, I borrowed the famous book title  by Dale Carnegie and added my own flavor too! Worrying is a part of life especially as a parent. You are constantly worrying about money, bills, lack of time, illness, aging, vehicles breaking down, the list goes on and on. What has all the time spent worrying got you but ulcers, gray hair, high blood pressure, crappy coping habits or worse, cancer. It's true worrying and stress can cause some or all of the health issues above. What can you do to stop the your internal motor from breaking down? STOP STRESSING!!! I highly recommend picking yourself up a copy of Dale Carnegies book titled, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. I have never had anyone person tell me some stress coping strategies that I actually listened to, but when I find myself in predicaments or stressing on something, I crack that book open and it does some magic for me, but that's just what works for me. Here's some points and quotes contained in the book. Go get it. Your family will thank you!

• Keep Busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest he wither in despair.
• "Let's examine the record." Let's ask ourselves: "What are the chances , according to the law of averages, that this event that I am worrying about will ever occur?"
• Don't try to saw sawdust.
• Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.
• Count your blessings - not your troubles!
• Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves.

These are some of mine!!!

• Watch funny movies
• Crank your favorite Metal, Rock or Blues and jam on the air guitar.
• Remember what your favorite toys, comic books or baseball cards were from childhood and get back into them.
• Play a board game with your kid(s)!
• Clean that dirty motorcycle of yours, go for a ride, preferably away from traffic and stop & have coffee.

Let me know some of yours. Good luck and thanks for reading!

Fellow bikers and metalheads, I was out for a late Saturday afternoon ride to one of the local Motorcycle Clothing and Accessory shops in Calimesa CA, (Belts and Buckles). It was a humid hot day around the low 90's. Even though the humid heat made me second guess me getting out, I had the urge to get out for a couple of hours and just ride to mark my weekend. Upon my arrival, the usual handful of bikes were not there, probably because of Bike Week in Vegas. The store was empty, but nonetheless there was a couple of other bikers there too getting some patches sewn onto their leather and conversing with the store shop staff. Inside the store, I noticed this teenage boy around 16 or so, with a tank top, shorts and Vans. I couldn't stop wondering if he rode in with one of the two bikers that were in the store or if he was related to one of the shops workers and was just hanging around. The thought for me was, I hope he's not riding like that. I'm not the best leathered and myself don't rock the full spaceman helmet, but I do wear denim, leather boots, vest, long sleeves and a non-DOT skid lid. What the hell, if I really wanted to be 100% safe, I would have never bought a bike in the first place. I acknowledge the risk and have weighed the pros and cons of not protecting my flesh and bones in an accident. However; if my Son or Daughter were to ride with me, it would be mandatory they suit up appropriately. It definitely would be a do as I say, not as I do scenario. After being in the shop for about 45mins shopping and B.S.ing with the staff, I left with my purchases and packed them in one of my Roadglide hard cases.  As I was prepping for my departure, that kid came out with his Dad and sure as hell, he was riding the way I described him, shorts and all. Miraculously the only sensible thing I noticed was, the kid had a full helmet. I did get a chance to chat with his Dad as we were both gearing up to hit the road again. I didn't want to come off as a busy body or risk the chance of the guy saying "F"-off or mind your own business, but I really wanted to ask the guy, what was he thinking, bringing his Son out on the road dressed for a beach party. We left at the same time and were headed the same way. We hit the freeway and I tailed them as if we were riding together for about 20 miles before we separated. I didn't realize it at the time, but I think I was riding close to them to create greater visibility and awareness to the drivers on the highway. I guess my HardKoreDad instinct kicked in. I felt like, if this guy isn't going t think too much about his kid, I will. I guess my point is, even though I couldn't prevent them from getting in an accident, my concern was for this guys kid. Being a HardKoreDad isn't just limited to your kid. We need to stand up for those that can't or will not speak up for themselves. Maybe just knowing someone else may be willing to speak up against injustices or shear idiocy towards kids will make someone think twice about what they let the public see. Thanks for reading!

As a Dad I have learned to love and embrace the wisdom of others, humbled myself to realize, the older I get the less I know. I've always loved to read and write and have come to really look forward to searching for wisdom in quotes in the writings of renegades, doers, and ahead of their time thinkers. I'd like to share some of my favorite inspirational quotes with other HardKoreDads.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of
imagination
-Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatists and novelist 

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the un-reasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.- George Bernard Shaw, Maxims for Revolutionists

 My definition of family is someone who will do anything for you, anytime, anywhere, without regard for their own health and safety. - Sonny Barger, from the book FREEDOM - Credos From The Road

 Perfection is not when there is no more to add, but no more to take away. - Antoine De Saint-Exupery, pioneer of postal flight and author of Le Petit Prince (The Little Prince)

 Thanks for reading!

Thank you, you're welcome, please, may I, good morning, good night, good afternoon, hello, good bye, excuse me, pardon me, bless you, I'm sorry, nice to meet you, would you be so kind, sorry to interrupt and any other words that express manners towards our fellow human beings is a dying tradition that must be revived. Not only should we practice the words of manner that reveal our character as Dads but we need to teach and set the example for our kids. We want to raise our kids to be upstanding individuals in our community and to be a reflection of ourselves and the hard work we put in to fatherhood. If you're not a shining example of what you want your kids to be like, then change it. Stop whining. Stop making lame excuses, Stop blaming someone else for the things you think you can't change. If you're already a stand up leader in your family and are shaping you're kids brains and lives in a positive way, keep up the great work. Chances are, no one will ever thank you for the great work you are doing. It doesn't matter. Keep doing what you do. Peace of mind and a clear conscience, that you're doing the right thing, are the softest pillows at night. Dad sweat equity is what it's all about. For the ones that need to polish up their act and get into gear, no one will ask you to do it, when to begin, how to start or give you feedback. It's entirely up to you. You can be the baddest biker, craziest metalhead, thug, or the ultimate rebel, but at the end of the day, everyday, what kind of kid do you want to deal with? a carbon copy of you? with scars, mental and/or physical or a kid everyone wants to be around and hopefully loves. If the latter is the case, just know in your mind you can take some credit for shaping that happy, balanced, well mannered individual. Stay HardKoreDad! Thanks for reading.

With all the hoopla about some mothers having children via an anonymous sperm donor, where is the future of good old fashioned parenthood headed? I am a subscriber of, it takes two, a loving and committed Mom and Dad, to raise and give kids a great life base to build from and to put a kids life in perspective. The male side and the female side are infused in our kids brain as we raise them and they learn to hopefully understand the inner workings of a dynamic, intricate and sometimes delicate balance of a relationship between Mom and Dad. Day without night and night without day is a similar parallel that I compare it to. To disregard the other genders influence and importance can shift the balance, to a child's disadvantage. Ever meet a kid or adult that grew up with only one parent? In cases where the absence of one parent or the other is due to death or abandonment, the other parent left to raise the kids has no choice, but to do the best they can with what they got and I salute them, but the one's that make the choice to go it alone just because, to disregard the road ahead of the kids life and start them off imbalanced, NOT HARDKORE! Kids deserve the best from the start!

With my Son on the way this November I'm counting my blessing with what I have so far. I've got a smart and beautiful 6 year old Daughter in first grade and in great health, a beautiful Wife that's awesome, nice house in a good area, sweet Harley Davidson Roadglide and good income. What more could a guy ask for? Well, with a baby boy on the way, I can't help but think about how siblings usually differ. It's not so much just the subtle differences I'm referring to, it's those extreme examples I remember of friends and acquaintances I grew up with. When there was one good kid in the family there was always the hell-raising, misdirected, destined to be a loser, brother or sister that by design was always on self destruct mode, no matter how great, cool or strict their parents were. I know it's premature to be worried about it, but I can't get it out of the back of my mind. It stays in my head like an important chore or task around the house I selectively forget to do. As I approach my 40's soon, I have learned to cling to the old adages, by "not sweating the small stuff" and "worrying is a waste of time". I've gotten better as I've gotten, let's say more mature, instead of older, at applying time tested methods of dealing with life's little challenges. I guess If I didn't care so much about being a great Dad this worry would not worry me. I'll have to apply my own dose of advise I would give any other HardKoreDad...a quote from one of my favorite books, (How to Stop Worrying and Start Living), written by Dale Carngie. 

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven".

I'm always in search of music that really inspires me, especially in the Heavy Metal, Hardcore, Thrash or whatever you want to label it, arena. Inspiration keeps me in focus and on track for most things in life. Whether it's a crunchy unique machine gun riff of a guitar, blast beats of a double-bass, great bass line or a vocal style that peels paint off of walls I'm intrigued by the many heavy music styles there are, but still fall under one category, HEAVY MUSIC!
As a Dad, Husband, Metal fan, tattooed Biker and Corporate type, yeah I said corporate type, I like my personal life to balance my professional life. Work is work. Work smart and hard and play even harder. I work with suit and tie types, Attorneys, Engineers and High-Level Managers, with a crap-load of schooling and I, with a 2yr Community College Degree, work on same level with them as a Project Manager. It happened by chance. It's another story for another time. Metal concerts and bike rides are things I love to do  but, nothing compares to the genuine fulfilling times spent with my Wife and Daughter(6yrs). I got a Son on the way in about 3 months too. The key here is BALANCE! If you're a HardKoreDad, find balance in your life. It can't all be about one thing. It doesn't matter what it is, orchid growing, preparing exotic dishes with fishes or learning to square dance, find the balance that helps you be an awesome HardKoreDad. Good luck!
By the way since I started this post with music in mind, I'd like to give my vote for best heavy music of all time. These bands, to me represent true passion, fire, creativity and inspiration:

• METALLICA - American Metal at it's finest. These are my generations Beatles! They hit a weird period in the mid to late nineties, but persevered and came out of it better than ever. James Hetfield/DAD!
•  PANTERA - 100 proof American Metal. Always true, always metal! Rest in peace Dimebag!
• OPETH - Some of the most scary, heavy, yet beautifully crafted heavy music I've ever heard. I've heard them called the Moody Blues of Death Metal...
• SLAYER - Hell plays Slayer music 24/7! Evil looks to Slayer to get ideas. Tom Araya/DAD 
• MEGADETH - Technical bliss! Mustaine's a true heavy guitar mathematician.
• CRADLE OF FILTH - Any band that gets inpiration from H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allen Poe is okay in my book. Dani Filth sings like a witch being burned at the stake. I love it!

STAY INSPIRED, STAY TRUE, STAY FOCUSED, BE A HardKoreDad!!!

Criminal Organizations such as, Mafia, Drug Cartels, Street Gangs, 1% er Mortorcycle Clubs, Outlaws and any derivatives of these members that swear allegiance to their organization, blood in blood out type stuff, have one thing in common, all or most members had a Dad. Chances are Dad was a sh*#ty example, put the smack down on jr or could care less about how his kids were raised. In lots of cases Dad was an outlaw himself and laid the gound work for his childrens future to follow the same path. Of couse there's always exceptions to any rule. No matter which path you've chosen to live your life, if you're a Dad, your kids are watching your every move, good and bad. The kid(s) you've brought in to the world are in the club you started. How are you going to lead your organization big or small that has your name tied it? The family you created is the most important club you'll ever be a part of. No matter which path you've chosen in life, as a HardKoreDad your kids future and safety should be first and foremost above all else, even false allegiances. The next time you throw on your outlaw club colors remember what Groucho Marx said, "Any club that would have me, I don't wanna be a part of"...

Good old fashioned HardKore fatherhood is what I'm spewing here. No amount of book reading, professional advice or observing of others rearing their young, will prepare you for the most important job in the world, fatherhood. Your kids instinctively trust you as you instinctively protect them, (Nature Channel stuff). Some Dads walk on water, some mean better, some embarrass the rest of us, some will never get it. If you're a Dad, you fall under one of these categories. Obviously, if you're reading this, you get it or at least care enough to keep reading. The best part is, you can always improve your Dad skills. You don't need to do anything extraordinary, just listen, play, have fun, eat and read with your kids. Pretty simple? apparently not. Most are too busy with work, hobbies, other relationships or interests. How's that working out for you? If you're a HardKoreDad, you're filled with guilt most of the time, thinking you're not doing enough to raise your kids, feel at a loss with their challenging personalities or at the end of the work day, you're too damn tired to do anything but go off into your own world. Time to change my friends. Your parents probably told you once in your life that there's no book on raising kids. That's still true to this day. Ever wonder why? Everyone's experiences are different, no two parenting styles are the same, no two kids from the same womb are the same. Write your own book, start now! it's never too late. There's no quick fix or magic pill, just the kids you brought into the world that love and trust you unconditionally. Why? How HardKore can you be? HardKoredad goes beyond just love, to that next level that sets you apart from the average Dad. Thanks for reading!